This week was the first week of classes. It’s the only week, I’ll be home before 6:30pm from rehearsals, because the company hasn’t started yet. It’s only been a half week but it has felt incredibly long and taxing. I don’t know why. I think it’s because all of my classes feel really intense the first week because the professors want us to know everything that is going on for the entire semester. Yes, overwhelming.

Anyway, it’s days like this that I want to walk away from it and say, I will persevere, because I’m just that swell! but I can’t. I don’t know what my deal is but I can’t. I feel like I failure. Ooooh, insecurity on the internet, way to be a cliche in a cereal box. I keep trying to convince myself that I’m being irrational, but I’m not. I haven’t accomplished that much, if anything at all, in either of the fields that I’m pursuing as a career. What? Oh writing and dancing — and I’ve done nothing, go me.

Okay, fine. I’m only 20. The world is my oyster, or clam, or whatever, I don’t know but it seems like everyone around me is going somewhere and I’m stuck. I want to be a successful writer and dancer and choreographer but right now I’m just being mopey and feeling discouraged.

So what now? Stop being a baby, right? I guess.

Happy Friday, all!

2 thoughts on “beyond.

  1. Ankush

    the first few days are always the worst though – once you get used to your new schedule and classes and routine and everything, it won’t be as bad 🙂

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