the script.

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The Script, alternative rock band from Ireland, are awesome. Please don’t confuse what follows this as me questioning their awesomeness. But I do have some questions that I’d like to address about every song ever produced by The Script.

Every song is about a woman, a relationship, or a combination of the beginning or end of a relationship. Is this the same woman? Are there multiple women? If there are multiple women who have committed these heinous acts (like pursuing her happiness because she doesn’t need a man), do the script now believe that women are vicious man-eaters? WE’RE NOT.

Second, do they not realize that some of the things they’re saying aren’t remotely romantic, and even slip over to pathetic sometimes? Example one, the most popular song on the radio by them now is “Nothing.” So, your mates (I presume your male mates) are all there trying to calm you down, you probably shouldn’t listen to them. No, instead stumble over to her house in the middle of the night and then when she opens the door and says “nothing” while you proclaim your love for her, please be upset about that. You’re not invading her privacy, being a douche, or look like a pathetic drunk asshole. No, you’re not better off dead. But guess what, your friends are probably right, you are better off without her if she makes you feel like singing this song.

Example two, another song from the Science and Faith album. “If You Ever Come Back” is the story of a girl, I think, leaving the boy that’s singing. He says that he wishes that instead of her leaving she would give him “the cold shoulder” or “a hard time” and he even goes as far to say that he wishes HE could “wish it were over.” Really? You’re resentfully going to say that you wish you were the one to want it to be over so that you wouldn’t feel that way. Oh, okay. He goes on to say “even if wishing is a waste of time / even if I never cross your mind…” here’s all the things I’m gonna do for you. He’s going to leave the door on the latch, leave a light on in the hall, leave a key under the mat…okay he’s leaving his place of residence open for her — here’s where it gets sad. “There’ll be a smile on my face and the kettle on / And it will be just like you were never gone.” Are you kidding? Honey, she’s not coming back because you don’t even want to deal with whatever problem caused her leaving. It won’t be like she was never gone. And as your mates told you in “Nothing” you’re probs better off without her.

I have to bring up the song “Walk Away.” In this particular song, self-deprecation gets to an all-time low…or high? He begins by questioning why she’s with him, stating that he brings her trouble, and that if he were her “by now I would have left me.” He says that he would have walked away. But, the song goes on, she didn’t leave because she’s a “headstrong city girl” so now “I’ll never let you leave, never let you breathe…cause if you’re looking for heaven, baby, it sure as hell ain’t me.” Oh. Okay. We’ve gone from vicious man-eater to pathetic ones? The song even begs to know “how could any woman in their right mind be so blind”? WHAT?! Blind? You show up at her house in the middle of the night, you leave your apartment unlocked with a kettle on the stove…and she’s the one being blind? Is that so? You’re kidding. You have to be.

I want to reiterate that I do not dislike the script. I really enjoy the music, but when you really begin to listen, I have to wonder what on earth their problem is. Why does this woman or these women, have so much control over your emotional well-being (and for that matter, the well-being of your liver…think “For the first time” — she’s in line at the dole, but you’re sitting in the bar in the middle of the afternoon drinking Jack. okay). Come now, you are better than this. In fact, all of us are better than this. This isn’t how it should be.

I could probably write about every song on both albums of theirs that I have, but I’ll spare you. Just wanted to think about this for a minute.

Cheers, B