I was at work this morning, having gotten a mere three hours of sleep, scanning files into pdf and because I didn’t know the words of the song that was on the radio, my brain started drifting away from me.
This happens to me quite often. It’s not funny, in a Scrubs kind of way. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes it just makes me sad. But most annoyingly, it makes it challenging to focus on things — most notably this week, sleep.
Sometimes I think about other school work. Sometimes it’s social interactions that I’m not sure were acceptable or not. Sometimes it’s the details.
I have a problem with falling in love with the details of people, and running over them in my head, loving them more and more with each realization of the small things that make that person perfect in their own way.
I remember being in rehearsal last year, saying to my dancers “God is in the details,” trying to get them to, while exhausted and overwhelmed, remember the small things that make a dance beautiful. I couldn’t think of any other way to phrase what I was trying to say, but now it feels like “love is in the details,” or maybe “exquisiteness is in the details.” I’m not sure which is most poignant to my earlier point, but what I’m saying is that I get lost in the details sometimes. And I did this morning.
In my head, for the hour and a half that I was working on this project, I compiled a list of details about people that just give me goosebumps with adoration for them. I thought I’d share a list, by no means exhaustive, of the things I love. (For matters of privacy I won’t use names, just their preferred pronoun)
The way when she laughs when we’re silly together, she bites the tip of her tongue and hiccups a little
The vertical crease in her forehead when she’s looking at me like I’m completely nuts, or completely amazing
When she’s driving with her left leg propped up on the seat, she taps just her toes to the beat of whatever is on the radio
He flips his right hand repetitively when telling stories, and sometimes does it when doing work and is trying to work something out in his head
She sticks her chin out slightly whenever she begins a sentence with “Well…”
She pushes her hips forward slightly and hunches a little when she’s looking at something she loves, like puppies or cheese, that is lower than eye level
She squints her eyes really tightly and leans to her right when she’s laughing so hard she can’t make any noise.
Whenever we hug, she rubs her chin into my shoulder, almost like a puppy that’s trying to get as close as humanly possible
She clicks her tongue whenever she’s going to say something witty or something very sarcastic
When she’s being a smartass and someone doesn’t get that, she purses her lips with the corners of her mouth turned up, then presses her face into her left shoulder to keep from laughing out loud
The way that anytime he hands me a drink that’s in a can, he pops it open with the one hand with which he’s holding the can
What details do you love?