What follows may or may not be a post about the validity of interpretive dance and it’s representation of the female body in contemporary choreography. I’ll give you a hint: it’s not. I’m not blogging as a way to avoid writing a paper. Never.

I was watching an episode of The Office today and weeping because I had totally forgotten the complete and utter heartbreak I feel whenever I watch this episode because what follows this scene makes me giddy. And I choose to bask in the happiness.

In the season 2 episode, Casino Night, after losing a lot of money, but flirting with Pam all evening, Jim finally says to her, while standing in the parking lot, that he is in love with her. She denies him, even though she (as we all know) is enamored with him. Okay, not so bad. People get turned down all the time.

Then he says the one line that I think is the most heartbreaking moment written into the show.

I’m sorry I misinterpreted our friendship.

Seriously, I’m sitting in my grad office, tearing up because it breaks my heart. It hurts as much as it does because I’ve felt that way before: apologetic because I had misunderstood something that I thought I understood perfectly. Apologetic because I’m embarrassed.

It’s heartbreaking to think that you have this wonderfully playful, honest, open relationship with someone and it turns out that either you don’t, or they’re telling you that you don’t. I can’t get over the chills I feel when he walks away after apologizing. While his guilt is unjustified (why should he apologize for being a human with feelings?) it’s completely relatable. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t felt guilt or sadness for having feelings that are discarded, even though it’s not their fault that they feel. I, too, am mortal sometimes and do sometimes feel things, like being hurt, when realizing that I was completely wrong in thinking something about someone.

Jim, you’re not alone: check this out, you do get the girl.

And, by the way, I am sorry.

Love, b

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