your sweatshirt says it all

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Two assignments stand between me and the end of my first year of grad school. How scary is that? I’m not 50% of a master of anything!

These last two weeks have been a whirlwind.

An insane, amazing, heartwarming, nerve-wracking mess in the best way possible.

One of my best friends, and roomie for lyfe got ENGAGED! I got to celebrate my soulie’s TWENTY FIRST birthday with her! I’m taking chances I thought I couldn’t take! I’ve spent every night for two weeks surrounded by old friends, new friends, more than friends, best friends, puppy friends, and everything in between. I’ve celebrated birthdays, engagements, dancing, music, and just the enjoyment of the company of the people I adore in my life.

The end of the school year is always hard for me. Or it always has been because the time in my life has been dictated by the passage of time in a school year.

It’s hard because we all have to move forward, and I’m going to miss those who are graduating this year very much as they move on to bigger and better things. I’m watching my sisters grow up and leave the Agnes nest for new adventures. I’m seeing these dancers and choreographers that I’ve gotten so close to move on to dance and research and cultivate themselves as artists away from the only place I’ve known them. I’m seeing one of my best friends having just gotten engaged to the love of her life. I’m giving myself to things that I actually want and even better I’m actually articulating what it is I want.

This post is just a hodge podge of my excitement, and considering the fact that this is my break from brain-stuff and finals, forgive me.

I’m constantly happy and nervous and overwhelmed by everything happening in my life that I want to step back and just look at it but I can’t.

I’m too busy participating.

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LOVE, B

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vindicated

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I am captivated

I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I’m right
I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
the things you swore you saw yourself

I listened to this song a few hours ago and now I feel like listening to it on repeat. This has no relevance to anything at all except that my biff wanted me to update.

Today was an okay day. It wasn’t half bad. Except the growth on my eyelid. I have this problem. I was at work this morning and I rubbed my eye and felt a sharp pain in my eyelid. I opened the photobooth on my computer and studied my eye for a few minutes. I assumed that what was on my eyelid was nothing other than a pimple. Okay, gross, but nothing out of the ordinary – could tots deal with that.

After work I went to pilates and had a lovely stretch class today and went to lunch. When I got to lunch I showed a couple of friends at the table and they said it didn’t look like anything to worry about. When I got back to the studio my roommate said “Oh my god, do you have pinkeye???” This concerned me.

Now my eye is red and my eyelid is pretty swollen. I don’t really know what to do but I definitely don’t have time to go to the Wellness Center until Wednesday. FML.

whore.

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I’m a pretty strange person. I love to eat loaves of bread from panera, lay on a hill behind target and sometimes I say things that don’t make sense and probably aren’t even completely in English. But for some weird reason this girl, Mercedita (or Mercediwhore :D), has stuck by me.

We met at dance when we were both in high school and I swear we’d talk on MySpace and then just be awkward and not talk to each other when we had ballet together. For at least a month. We first bonded over her crushing on a guy we danced with (who was, is and always will be gay – and we love him for it).

Literally, this girl is the person I’ve been through everything with. We’ve been through crushes, deaths, boyfriends, laughing until our sides hurt….everything. We’ve fought and stopped talking for months, we’ve talked so much that people have told us to shut up.

What got me to thinking about this was that I didn’t really tell anyone that I was starting a blog. I put it on my facebook side-bar, in case anyone stumbled upon it and wanted to read it. I think I may have tweeted it. But I didn’t tell people to come and read. And a few days ago I got a text from Mercedita saying that she loves reading the things that I write and that I need to post 10 to 15 entries a day. It’s hard to find a friendship like that.

It’s hard to find someone that supports you no matter what if there’s something you’re passionate about. I’m afraid to show people what I write most of the time and she always welcomes anything I write with open arms. From my first attempts at poetry, to horribly, horribly written fiction she’s always reading my work. I don’t even have to ask her to, she just asks me if I’ve written anything new lately that she can read. There’s an undeniable sense of welcome that I feel from having a friend like this. And she’s wonderful.

So there’s that. It doesn’t hurt that she loves Bollywood music as much as I do.