bewitched me

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Hi all,

Just a quick reminder that my survey monkey is still open! The amazing responses I’ve gotten so far are leading to generating lots of material — keep responding! Take the survey here. I’m genuinely looking for gut-responses, there’s no definition of lie, you don’t have to denote the people you lie to, I’m just curious what people aren’t completely truthful about.

Back to our regularly scheduled programing…

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” — Jane Austen

Jane Austen is one of my favourite writers. To this day I collect editions of Pride and Prejudice that I find in used book shops, and when I go to different cities or countries I look for copies that aren’t printed where I live. My favourites are the ones that have inscriptions in them. [cough cough christmas is less than forty days away]

In one of the (many) creative writing classes I have taken someone looked at me and said “Why would anyone want to take a Jane Austen class? She just wrote glorified, Regency era romance novels. There’s nothing special about them.” I, of course, took the Jane Austen Lit class offered at my undergrad, and while I vehemently disagreed beforehand, the class itself justified my extremely visceral response to an ignorant statement.

Jane Austen wrote female characters outside of the prescribed roles that they were meant to fill. No, none of her characters became politicians or took over the world, but the notion that a woman could refuse marriage, travel on her own, and even still find a husband after her reputation was tarnished was a radical idea.

I would venture as far as to say that today writing novels about gay women in politics is a similarly radical notion (though this is changing rapidly as we speak).

I took great offense to the dismissal of one of my favourite writers because not only does she have a beautiful narrative voice, but the subject matter itself matters to the history of women writers.

I don’t want to turn this into a research paper about the validity of Jane Austen scholarship (don’t worry, I’ve written that paper) but this was on my mind today, and seeing as I don’t want to start a final paper, here I am.

love, B

P.S. can emiry come over and watch der movie with me?!

look at that female character being little miss sassypants

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A small request

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I’m working on a piece of choreography based off of the things that people lie about — to friends, lovers, parents, strangers, partners.

I would be eternally grateful if you could help me out by completing the survey I created and passing this along to anyone you know. I’d love to have as much input for choreographic material as possible.

What do you lie about?

Take the survey here!

investing.

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Post second week of school Saturday, and I’m still alive, though I barely made it to today. I don’t want to talk about school, though. I want to talk about personal investment and how it’s gotten me into worlds of trouble lately. Emotional trouble, I think.

I was driving home last night from celebrating a classmates birthday and the thought occurred to me that I invest a great deal of myself too quickly into the people that come into my life. I struggle with the idea of picking and choosing those who are important, because I want to give my investment to everyone. I want to believe that everyone is important, and I want them to feel that they matter. It can get exhausting. It is getting exhausting. I can’t do that anymore because more often than not, I get let down. I let myself get let down.

(who does that?!)

I’m not saying that people who matter let me down, because that’s completely false. I can always count on my family and my best friends. They don’t ever make me feel exhausted from investing in them because in those healthy relationships there is a sense of give and take. I think that might be what’s missing from a lot of the relationships I work really hard to maintain.

What I’m trying to say is that I need to be more careful in the people I do allow in my life, that I open my heart to, because when the people that I rush into disappear for no reason I’m the one that I have to live with, and I’m the one who has to make sense of it. Right now I’m struggling with making sense of situations like that. Usually, there’s no clear cut answer, because I invest in people too easily.

Perhaps, then, that it my answer: because of what I give, I expect, and because I expect, I’m disappointed. Maybe that doesn’t make sense at all. I’m reminded of something that Gabby Sidibe said in an interview:

I’m the only consistant person in my life, so I better like myself, I really better love myself.

Are we each the only truly consistant person in our own lives? Isn’t that a lot of pressure to put on ourselves? Do I, then, put some of that pressure on other people? And is that unfair of me?

I don’t think that I’m the only consistant person in my life. (how selfish and self obsessed is that?!) I do believe that my family will always be there for me reminding me to like myself when I don’t. I do believe that I’ve got relationships in my life that will last, but I guess that I need to come to terms with investing less in people who don’t care as much as I do.

Here’s a song to enjoy for listening to my ranting about nothing. My brain is filled to the brim with dance things.

 

Love, B

 

open up

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Despite the title, I assure you, I’m not writing about a recent visit to the dentist. I will, however, be accounting what’s been going on in my life for the last few days. And how it’s made me feel the need to “open up.”

I’ve moved to Tallahassee to begin my Masters’ programme and I can’t help but be giddy with excitement about this coming semester. I’ve always been a bit nerdy and in love with school supplies, but this year is a whole different school, with different people, and even a new apartment and car. It’s incredibly exciting.

I want to go into this “new” life with an open mind and heart and approach everything, even those with whom I do not agree, with more love and understanding than frustration. It’s not the new year, but what a time to have goals anyway!

I feel like when I sat down to write this, I had many more things to write but they’ve all escaped me so I’m just going to make a list of things that make me happy.

  • Making photo collages on my bedroom wall in my new apartment, and then getting so over zealous that I go and print tons more pictures because I remember how much I love and adore my friends
  • Looking at Laban scores while I’m unpacking and getting up and doing some of the movement.
  • Buying school supplies! Notebooks, pens, binders OH MY
  • How I Met Your Mother marathons on FX while I’m decorating binder covers
  • The difficulty falling asleep before the first day of school, after picking out my outfit and packing my backpack
  • Trader Joe’s milk chocolate, bow-tie pasta, and smoked gouda
  • any and all text messages from EMILY
  • Writing emails to some of my favourite people
  • Re-reading amazing books like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake
  • Queso and Tacos with my new roomies! As well as being advised on where the less busy Target, Walmart, and Publix are (lord knows I wanted to start hitting people when I went grocery shopping around campus)
  • New nail polish! Four years ago my sisterbear told me when I was homesick to go to CVS and get myself some eyeshadow and it would cheer me up. Today, I was just feeling a bit glum/bored/missing home/missing my sisterbear so I went to Walmart and bought myself some new nail polish, and after I shower I’m going to give myself a nice mani for the first day of school!

That’s all for now!

Love, B

 

Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters. — John Green

reunited.

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Hello, blog friends,

I know I haven’t written in quite a while, but I got so caught up with my travel blogging that I was all blogged out! I haven’t anything to write about on here yet, but I will be keeping up with this blog this year!

I need to take a leaf out of Emily’s book and update more regularly!

Love, B

unofficial attraction

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Christmas was amazing. I got to spend a few days with my sister and niece in Virginia. I can’t even put into words how wonderful it was to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with family. I was sorely missing my other sister though. I’ve already decided that we’re all going to be together next year. It’s imperative. Tuesday my mom and I drove back to Florida.

my niece, seeing that santa had come while she was sleeping

Yesterday marked the end of “Christmas” for me because I got my last “present” of the year. It wasn’t really a present, more like the presence of two wonderful friends. I got to spend the day at Disney with Dan, who came to visit Orlando from Iowa by way of St. Augustine, and Caroline, who now lives in Orlando and works at Disney, but since I’m never home for long I only get to see her a few times every few months instead of EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. (which is not fair at all.)

We began the day at Animal Kingdom. We got Fast Passes for Everest, went through Dinoland, rode a few rides, and then enjoyed the beauty of The Festival of Lion King. This is the BEST thing ever. There were tumblemonkeys, simba, and sorry friends, you play some Lion King tunes and who will be singing along? This Guy.

Dan and I at Dinoland!

 

After that we wandered around, went on Everest at our Fast Pass time and had lunch in Asia. It was fantastic. Afterwards we headed over to the Boardwalk to go the cheater way into Epcot and avoid the Epcot parking lot. I love the Boardwalk, it’s so cozy and beautiful and calm, and I’d much rather be there than in the parks sometimes.

the three of us on the boardwalk ❤

Finally, we arrived at Epcot. Epcot is my absolute favourite of the Disney parks. I’m not sure why, I just love Test Track, and Soarin’ and Mission Space OH MY! We tried to get fast passes, ride single rider, get on anything but the park was so packed, and we just weren’t willing to wait two hours to get on anything. We had our first ciders and rode Nemo. We knew we had to return to the UK for another drink though. We did get to see Captain EO though, which is all you really need 😉

Then we decided to partake in the best unofficial attraction Epcot has to offer: drinking around the world. We began with ciders and beers in the UK. You can see in the background of this photo why we had to return here (re: the very good looking British bartender named Mo).

Mo. The bartender.

Then met Alice so Dan could get a picture with his favourite Disney woman, and then moved to France where we had delicious slushies! They were so delicious and beautiful, and we had funnel cake when we walked over to America and the day just kept getting more and more beautiful.

Caroline, Remy, and I

We continued around the world, drinking in Japan, Germany, and by the time we got to Mexico we were all done. We rode the Mexico ride and headed out of the park, speaking poetry for our friend Mo. After Disney we hit Taco Bell, and World of Beer where I had the most delicious lambic beer.

It was the most beautiful day. Correction: I’ve had the most beautiful last seven days.

 

Love, B