Is anyone familiar with Mumford and Sons? I have this secretive love for folk-rock, especially English or Scottish folk-rock, because I mean really, really, who can turn down some banjo, dobro and string bass all in one? Who?
Their most recent hit is called “Little Lion Man”, and goes a little something like this “Well it was not your fault but mine / And it was your heart on the line / I really fucked it up this time, / didn’t I, my dear?” and the lyrics repeatedly refer to the singular audience, as “my man” and “little lion man”. I, well, naturally, now want to call everyone “little lion man” and hope that they know what I’m talking about…or maybe just get wildly excited that they get to be referred to as a lion.
I would love that, wouldn’t you?
This week was the first week of classes. It’s the only week, I’ll be home before 6:30pm from rehearsals, because the company hasn’t started yet. It’s only been a half week but it has felt incredibly long and taxing. I don’t know why. I think it’s because all of my classes feel really intense the first week because the professors want us to know everything that is going on for the entire semester. Yes, overwhelming.
Anyway, it’s days like this that I want to walk away from it and say, I will persevere, because I’m just that swell! but I can’t. I don’t know what my deal is but I can’t. I feel like I failure. Ooooh, insecurity on the internet, way to be a cliche in a cereal box. I keep trying to convince myself that I’m being irrational, but I’m not. I haven’t accomplished that much, if anything at all, in either of the fields that I’m pursuing as a career. What? Oh writing and dancing — and I’ve done nothing, go me.
Okay, fine. I’m only 20. The world is my oyster, or clam, or whatever, I don’t know but it seems like everyone around me is going somewhere and I’m stuck. I want to be a successful writer and dancer and choreographer but right now I’m just being mopey and feeling discouraged.
So what now? Stop being a baby, right? I guess.
Happy Friday, all!
So New Years came and went and I decided not to force myself to make any kind of resolutions. I’m the type to make a list of things I want to accomplish and one by one either do them or get so discouraged that I don’t even bother.
So I gave up on it.
But here’s the cool thing. Once I stopped anticipating coming up with a really cool Resolution with a capital R, I figured out something I really would like to accomplish.
As you all know, Eat Pray Love is one of my favourite books out there right now so I’m taking some advice from Liz to create my resolution. In the first section of the book, based in Italy, she meets a lot of people while in Italy. She gets to talking to some of them about responsibility and obligation and realizes that in Italy there is a mindset that it’s okay to have enjoy the pleasure of doing nothing and enjoy finding pleasure in those things. As an American, I can recognize that our society is over-worked, over-fed, and generally over-indulgent. But to reign the indulgence in and find pleasure in little things, like taking a walk or window shopping, I think as an American, is a skill I’m going to have to hone in on.
So that is what I’m going to do. I’m going to take time to enjoy my life. School is important, work is important, but enjoying things is even more important. I don’t want to be the old person in the hospital saying, “I wish I’d gone to Rio.”
Happy New Year!
So, maybe you’ve noticed, or maybe you haven’t, but I have a sort of dorky and off-beat sense of humor…and sense of amusement. I like to laugh. My sister came to visit for a little bit last Thursday and she gave me a gift that is so completely fitting that I just have to share.
She gave me a keychain of a moose…WITH MOVING LEGS. The legs are on pins and they wobble back and forth and if you shake the chain just a little it looks like the moose is galloping!! bwahahah I’m so in love.
She also keeps trying to convince me it’s a reindeer because they “have those in Utah, you know.”
FOR THE RECORD:
THIS is a moose
and THIS is a reindeer.
P.S. check out the new Page on my blog called “Favourite Things”. I’ll periodically be adding things I find online that I absolutely adore and want to share.